SuGaR BaBy

Alright this is a little embarrassing. I've never heard of the term "sugar baby" until I roamed the personals listings on craigslist. First off, let me say, I was looking through them because I didn't believe that sort of thing existed. A man I met a few months ago told me about them and I had to see for myself. I'm a very curious girl fyi. The listings are really there and it's one of the most amusing things I have ever read. I won't get too much into what sort of interesting and peculiar things I've encountered because I'm sure you can go there right now and see the same or very similar listings that were there when I first ran into them.

However, I want to discuss one type of listing. The sugar daddy sugar baby listings. HUH? Does that sort of thing really exist? I thought it was just a term used to jokingly tease. Yea, it really does exist. When I first read them, I wondered if people actually find their sugar counterpart through craigslist. I wondered what sort of arrangements were made, what the girl would need to give to receive financial security. I bet so many girls in LA are sugar babies. I swear.

I could be one. I got offered a sugar daddy. I got offered to have my expenses taken care of as well as the option to have expensive things. Vacations, tickets to shows, fine dining,...a life of luxury and free of financial woes. In exchange, I would have to spend time with him, intimately in a private area.

When I heard these words coming from his mouth, I couldn't believe my ears. I imagined how it would help me so much; I visualized my cc debt resetting to zero. Money on a silver platter. On top of his offer, he was glamorizing the whole ordeal. It was as if he were trying to convince me that this sort of relationship is ideal. Both people get what they want. He even claimed it to be civilized, respectable, and how its arrangement could never lead to cheating. He told me to run with him if I really wanted to be free and how its a "much worthy convenience." Thinking about it now, I was momentarily brainwashed.

I thought about it a lot and to my surprise I didn't eliminate the thought so quickly. I was going to meet up with him to feed my curiosity. Sometimes, I put myself in dangerous situations. I can tell bad from good, but sometimes I like to dance around the fire, close enough that I may get burned. Danger intrigues me. I guess it's because I've been sheltered for so long.

That time was one of the few times I didn't indulge. The dangerous nature held me for a second but the ache I felt after contemplating lingered on too strongly for me to continue on with my curiosity. The feeling that overcame me as I was hearing the "arrangement" made me short of breath. I've never had that happen to me before. It was a physical sign that my mental inquiries were unhealthy. It was a foreshadow to the damaging effects it would have on my self esteem.

If I had gone along with it, my financial worries would be relieved, I would be living well, but at the expense of what I can never give up, my will.
He asked me, "Will you give yourself for a need you might have?"

Um...HELL NO! This is the year I go with my gut feeling. I need to put my thirst for danger aside.

Stupidity out the door. Let's go with what we know is inherently right.