Transition 9/30/09

3 known facts. I'm a shopaholic, bebe shoes are HOT, but manolos, prada, and ysl shoes are to die for! yea,...I'm actually not a crazy shopaholic...just the past two weeks. I've been shamefully spending money on unnecessary pleasures. But, I'm happy, and happiness is priceless regardless of the expense!! hahaha ok money doesn't buy happiness, or does it? Are we just conditioned to think it doesn't because of the underlying implication that lusting after money is an indication of shallowness?
I think to some degree, money does buy happiness...or...the things that make you happy.

I've definitely realized my style has made a transition. No more flashy patterns against neon colors. My dancer swag has took flight. It's all about the streamlined silhouttes from head to toe. And because of this change in style, I've been feeling more womanly, more refined.

So at the moment, I'm in San Francisco. I decided to make a stop here after OK since I'm leaving soon for Cabo. It's really happening and I can't wait! In many ways, I view this move as a time for me to really evaluate and make the changes within myself to become the woman I want to be. I have seen a progression within myself, but I'm still unsatisfied because I constantly envision myself of how I want to be in the future. More confident, well groomed, more independent, financially secure, having optimal health...with the ability to help or inspire others. The list is lengthy.
Right now I'm in the box, with a hand breaking free. My mindset has developed to see what is beyond, but my actions are still influenced by the realm within. I want to be out and dancing to my own beat that I have always played. I'm determined.

So cabo is just a couple weeks away. I see this voyage not only as a fantastic opportunity, but,...I hate to admit, an escape as well. I need a break from America. haha. I think I've been consumed by the media or useless information which may have blindsighted me from what really matters. Ok, not the media's fault, my own.

Lately Iv'e been considering acting. I think it's merely due to the fact that people always ask if I am an actress or if I have ever considered it. The more people mention it, the more I think about it. Seems like a very difficult challenge, but I kind of like throwing myself into things that aren't the easiest. Why would I strive for something I know is easily achievable? I have big dreams because I make them big. Push yourself past the limit...it ensures that you reach and may surpass your potential.

Sometimes I think about people who may not agree with how I choose to live or the decisions I make. I know I may be negatively spoken of...actually I know this for a fact...it always comes back to me through the grape vine. I'm so used to it now. =/ I guess all I'm saying is that I can care less what people think.

I'm over myspace. I think it's going downhill and I'm beyond tempted to delete my account. BUT I can't! lol. It still is a great networking site especially for modeling. Playboy tv's producer actually hit me up through there, Iv'e gotten several gogo gigs through myspace, and of course I met good people in the industry who wanted to help me out. Unfortunately, there are a number of douchebags on there too. Too many times people make stuff up about themselves to get your attention. Such as their occupation, their networks, their "new" modeling agency. lol. On myspace, people can be whoever they want. The drawback of an online identity. or is it a advantageous progression? I guess there are pros and cons to most things.

One other known fact, my sleep schedule is horendous. So it's definitely time to KO. Peace out!