Need to get a few things off my chest

So,....lately I feel like something is missing....and I don't know why. I mean summer is going great, I just got back from Vegas with my girls and I have more traveling in August to Vegas again and then the bay. Modeling is also coming along. I'm super excited to be a ring girl for Strikeforce. It's sort of like my dream modeling job. haha. I always wanted to work or model in an athletic environment and now I get my chance! Whoo!
Despite these exciting events to look forward to, I dunno... I feel like I can be doing more. It's so sad to say, but I hardly go out anymore. I'm like my mom, I worry about money. If I go out, I'll spend. hahaha. For example, I went out last night with my sis and it was a blast! And I happened to drop $200 on yesterday's festivities. Yet, I had such an amazing time. Got a massage, new clothes, watched a movie, ate bomb Korean food. So...money buys happiness? hahaha or it brings enjoyment to my life. lol.
At the end of the night, I realized that I can't afford to keep doing that. =( Sucks when you're financially independent. It's funny cuz my mom always says, "well, you could of had it worse. I know teenagers who take care of themselves by the time they're 18!" so true, so I guess I just need to suck it up and learn how to take care of myself. Life was so easy back in college. lol. Looking back, I wish I were more careful with my money. Eh,..I spent it like it was nothing....
And so now at 22 years of age, I feel like an adult.

I'm excited for October to come rolling around. It's not only my birthday month, but there's a chance that I may be working the nightlife in Cabo San Lucas. I may actually be living there! It sounds crazy, but to me, it's an adventure. I want to travel, live in different areas, and explore. The unknown can be a dangerous thrill and most of the time it entices me. On a tangent and in relation to what I just mentioned about the unknown, my friend/mentor was telling me about Hostess clubs and well, he took me to one in LA a while ago. I pretended I wanted to become a hostess there. My job would be to entertain business men traveling from overseas particularly Japan. The mama-san who takes care of the girls looked at me, smiled, and said that I could come back the next night and start working. I wasn't in shock though, I was more intrigued. I wondered if I would be good at it too. I would consider being a hostess, but at a very upscale venue where women dance naked in water tanks to entertain their guests. =) I guess that's the way I am...I look for the next big thing. Something to tickle my senses.

sooo I dunno,...I think this is why I feel like something is missing at the moment. Nothing is really happening right now. Just sort of waiting for things to...which I know is not the way to live life. I know I need to put myself out there more...see what's around. Oh yes! I forgot to mention, I watched the ugly truth last night. It's one of those films that tell u everything and nothing about relationships. haha. Iv'e been thinking,...and I think I can't have a boyfriend right now. I don't think I'm ready....or maybe it's just that I don't trust men...so consequently I don't desire one. haha. But I wouldn't mind having a friend to chill with. BUT!, there's a major problem with that too cuz well, boys have a penis. so,...that's something that will be missing,...especially in LA. ;p haha.