Where I'm at

So....I feel like I'm at an interesting point in my life. Many spontaneous things have happened. There's a lot going through my mind, and I don't know where to start.

Hmm,...I guess as of lately I've been feeling the need to be cautious or protect myself. And the thing is, it's because of my friends who are afraid that I'm going to get hurt because I "show my cards too easily" or I'm "naive" or I am always "emotionally involved" with things. I can see why they might say that, but I'd like to think despite my sincerity and openness, I can judge weather a situation is bad or good. I dunno,...perhaps I haven't experienced the world's corruption to its fullest. Is that a bad thing? I have a strong mind and I know how to deal.

So,...I'm 22 right now. Sometimes I feel old and other times super young. I can tell that the inner woman is starting to come out though... physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I was looking at my facebook pics of myself from my freshman year in college all the way to the present. It's so funny and slightly embarrassing. A lot of baby fat gone...lol. Also, sometimes I didn't even recognize myself. I feel like I have grown so much and am so much more comfortable in my skin.

Despite my growing confidence, at times, I feel like I'm lost. I'm not as focused as I could be. I need to be more strict on myself or something.

Gogo dancing and modeling are going well, but I know I can improve myself to feel more prepared when pursuing these two. I've been eating healthy and working out, but I cheat and I need to stop, lol. I love to eat late at night and I really love sweets. It's a crime. I really want to tighten everywhere so I'm estimating, but I want to lose ten pounds and gain five pounds of muscle. I don't know why it's so hard right now. When I was 17, it was easy fo sheezy. Man, if Britney can do it, I should too! So I guess my flaw is my inconsistency.

I've been cooking more and actually made this really good salad with tomatoes and cucumbers,...and I don't really care for either. But I was convinced to try it and it was bomb.com. =) Thanks for the recipe Steve!

Lately, I've been meeting very interesting people. And it amuses me because everyone is just so unique. I love learning about how other people are, the way they interact, their passions, their aspirations, their hardships....all of it is intriguing. I especially love meeting goal oriented individuals. They inspire me to keep going for what I want. I just love surrounding myself with good positive energy. It's contagious! Also, I tend to pick up certain attributes that I admire from others and use them as inspiration.

Sometimes I feel like something in my life is missing and many times I think it's because I'm not 100% content with myself. So,...I decided to make a list of goals down and slowly but surely, I'm going to check them off.